Monday, February 2, 2015

Rough day and no support

I've had quite a rough day today, well "rough" I should say. But nonetheless definitely not one of my best days. I guess we all have to have bad days every once in a while too huh. I mean overall it was an okay day, until I got to 5th period which was my lunch. 1st period I have Pre-calculus with one of my well least favorite teachers, and she finally told the class that we could get our tests, which keep in mind we took 2 weeks ago, back during our lunch time. And optimistic me, thinking that I did well on the test, received the test only to be disappointed to a B- of 82%. Now I know, 82% that's not too bad isn't it, at least I still got a B. But because I ended the class with a B the 1st term I had the class, I was just disappointed in myself, math is usually one of my stronger subjects so I wasn't understanding why I was struggling so badly. I was motivated to do better, really focus and finish the class with an A. But, I suppose due to the overwhelming amount of stress I give myself, surrounding stresses, and more, I've become sensitive I guess so this is affecting me a lot more than it really should be. All of my motivation for trying to get that "A" has gone down the drain. I may just be overreacting as well. But one of my resolutions was to not give up and to keep striving for my goals, but that is really easier said than done. Just when my day couldn't get any better, my aunt sends a message to the family group chat, which consists of all the adults in the family, saying how her daughter (my cousin) has gotten a letter from Harvard saying that she should apply there and major in the medical field. My aunt is notorious for being the one to always brag her daughter off to the whole family. So it always seemed like a competition between the family on who's kid could get the better grade, or better gpa, or get into the better college, pursue in a "better" major. So then it just made me feel as if I'm not good enough for anything, because no matter what, this whole competition would never end. Then my mom, being the emotional person she is, went on saying how it's because she couldn't speak english or how inexperienced she is in me going into college and education in general. As my mom and her friend were talking, her friend asked what I was going to pursue, and so my mom replied with nursing or kindergarten teacher. That's when I got really disappointed, now I shouldn't have been disappointed and in fact should have just expected this to happen because then that was when her friend said but teachers don't make much money. It is true teachers don't have the best paying job, but my mom replied with "it's because that i'm so uneducated on this subject and inexperienced that she's choosing such a career to pursue." I've had enough, so I just replied with "it's okay if it doesn't make the best pay, as long as I enjoy what I do." All she did was scoff after that. I don't know if it's just old-fashioned Asian families that all have this sort of trait in common, or maybe it's just by pure coincidence. But honestly, this is why I dislike Asian families. I guess this wasn't the most interesting post to read about, and overall it escalated quickly. 
Hopefully this would be more interesting to this post. 
This bird's expression is literally me at my life right now.
Until next time,


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